Summative post- Documentation (73)Posted: May 15, 2015
Here are the 5 key points in my project that have helped me progress and push my practice forward.
“Dread” requires a specific object of which we are afraid. ‘Fright,’ however, emphasizes the element of surprise; it describes the state that possesses us when we find ourselves plunged into danger without being prepared for it. Sigmund Freud
My work explores themes regarding peoples phobias. My goal is not necessarily to frighten people, it’s about facing that fear and encouraging others to overcome it. I recreated several phobias from data I collected from people and placed myself in specific situations in order to experience that individuals fear.
This was mentally and physically challenging as I experienced Claustrophobia in an abandoned, collapsed tunnel in Cardiff. I also donated blood, alongside interacting and handling animals such as rats, snakes and a tarantula, but also facing my own fear of Vertigo by climbing a ladder.
For me that was mentally challenging as it surfaced traumatic memories and experiences as a child. But I felt it was a achievement as I felt liberated to try and overcome my own phobia.
I found the tunnel to be physically challenging to explore and experience. It was very dangerous and extremely narrow. There was also severe risk of it collapsing a second time as it was very unstable. I had to crawl on my stomach to enter the tunnel and then again, where it previously collapsed.
Not only have I personally experienced these phobias but the viewer can also experience my struggle, mentally and physically throughout these ordeals.
This was the major break through in my work. Coming across this tunnel helped push my work further and question why I was originally interested in the supernatural. It was due to the scar factor and fascination why we feared it so much. I was eager to explore this tunnel, it was a major achievement and it made me question why was I so fascinated by it.
I think it was to overcome this fear of being trapped as I put myself in danger. But I found it liberating in a way after I successfully completed it made me question the possibility of re creating peoples phobias.
2.Donating Blood – https://impressionistlover.wordpress.com/2015/03/01/donating-blood-19th-feb/
I have always wanted to donate blood and speaking to Wen in my class about her project of blood transfusions she suggested Welsh Blood may be interested in my project, I contacted them to see if I could film or maybe take images for my project.
It was a great achievement for me as I was terrified and even Wen came with me, which helped her project as she manged to take images for her own project as well as my own.
I overcame this fear and I would happily donate blood again as it could have saved someone else life.
It was a shame I could not film it as I that would have been very effective in my video of watching a needle, sadly I could not use it in my degree show but it was a major breakthrough.
I had to mentally prepare myself to interact with these animals I dislike them but I would not say I had a phobia of them. I think these are the phobias most likely to make impact on people. The rat I think is the most effective as I imitated the sound of the popcorn of it eating as this was the only thing I could hear as I could not see it.
This was the major break through in my project when I went to Neil’s projector workshop. I could not decide if I wanted to use a projector or possibly design something like ipads to look in. Even though I couldnot buy my own for numerous reasons, his one pair were quite successful in how I wanted to present my work.
5.Attempting To Overcome My Own Fear- https://impressionistlover.wordpress.com/2015/05/13/editing-films-april-5th-64/
I found out of all the tasks I endured the most terrifying for me was climbing a ladder. I suffer with Vertigo and it was mentally challenging, as when I began to climb the ladder I instantly thought of the source of my phobia in my childhood. One being stuck in my attic, the second on top of a escalator and a kind gentleman helped me down and lastly I was frozen petrified at the edge of a swimming pool diving board unable to move.
Every time I watch this part of the film it makes me feel uncomfortable and I experience the same scare element I did whilst doing it. I cant say I am any nearer in conquering and overcoming that phobia, but I am happy I managed to do something to relate to my own personal fear.